A Crimson Ribbon
by OceanDreams13
Summary: My world used to be black and white, easy to understand. Now it's just grey.... and very far out of control. I lost so much, but I think, now, I'm finally getting my life back, just not in the way I expected.
1. Prologue

When you're little everything is black and white, its simple and easy to break down. Everybody is either good or evil, pretty or ugly, your ally or your enemy. Anything and everything you see is immediately categorized as an extreme, and grey just isn't in your colour spectrum.

That was me, raised with fairy tales and damsels in distress. Even when I first became a kunoichi I was still waiting on my knight in shining armor. For me (and lots of other girls) this was Sasuke, he was the spitting image of perfection in my young, 12 year old eyes.

But when he left me on that bench seven years ago everything turned upside down. My black and white photograph turned a cold, unforgiving grey, it's shiny finish dulled and cracked. It was all ruined, shredded, lost… I've never felt so abandoned.

But it changed me, without the past I would be a different person. I would never have grown into a stubborn, strong willed medic nin. I would never have come into my full potential. Thousands of important events would have never come to pass. Not to steal lines or anything, but perhaps this is just my destiny; this is the road I was always meant to travel down.

I've made some questionable decisions over my time, my judgment often rash and emotional. With ever Sasuke-less mistake and success I have grown and changed. I bet money Sasuke can barely recognize me now, both physically and personality wise. My hair is no longer pink, ANBU deciding that a dark chestnut was less conspicuous. I 'm more thoughtful, logical, I understand what needed to be done, and am not afraid to make sacrifices. I know what it's like to be alone, to be afraid.

But, enough background, I do have a story tell and I need to get it on paper before my head explodes. I suppose if I write it down then it will seem truer… Like it all actually happened. Even now it's all still a little blurry and grey. I have no limits; no true right and wrong, no white. Instead, my sheet of solid grey is spattered with blotches of black and red.


	2. Chapter One

AN: Nice to see you guys again, I missed being on FF and am excited to be back. This is A Crimson Ribbon V.2.0 and I hope you all enjoy it. I'm putting a lot into it, and if anyone cares, it's important. As you know, Naruto is not mine. I have accepted this fact with out psychiatric help. Amazing no?

"Let me guess, you want Friday and the weekend off?" Tsunade didn't even look up from her mountain of paper work to address me.

"Hai" I leaned against the wall, adjusting my headband unconsciously.

The hokage sighed, still staring intently at her paper work, as though she was convinced it would shrink of it's own accord. "I can find a cover for you, but things are busy these days. I need you back on time."

I nodded, agreeing quietly before I turned to leave, "Oh and Sakura?" Tsunade said, finally looking over the piled folders and papers, "Stay safe, okay?"

My face softened slightly, "Of course, shishou," I smiled, walking out the door.

It was beyond fantastic to have the weekend off. Being a member of ANBU meant that breaks were often few and far between, but this was my rare time to relax, to reflect, to re-gather myself and remember how to be a normal human being. I planned on heading out to the border plains and camping, getting fresh air that wasn't filled with the scent of blood and sweat.

I silently thanked Tsunade again, hurrying home, anxious to get to my apartment. The hokage had no reason to let me off, and to tell the truth, I would have declined my own request. Trouble was brewing, and I knew that it was probably rather irresponsible to ask for time off now, but I needed it. If I was going to keep my focus I needed to clear my head, erase the things that I had seen as of late and calm my busy mind.

Walking home, I passed Sasuke's apartment. When he had been brought back a few months ago, slung over Naruto's back, he had opted out of staying in the Uchiha complex. He was under house arrest at the moment, and I had a feeling he would be for a while. He hadn't changed much, and was still the walking, talking ball of angst that I remembered. Apparently his grand mission had never been completed, and he didn't know what to do with himself stuck inside of the village. The first month had been nothing more than a succession of unsuccessful attempts at escape before he finally calmed down a little.

We didn't talk much any more, although he was finally beginning to accept the idea of staying in Konoha. Even if he returned to a state of quasi normality I don't think I would try to re create the previous team seven. That ship had sailed, even though Kakashi and Naruto were over there as often as they could be, trying to get him back to normal. They often invited me, saying that I would be good for him, but after the first couple, awkward visits, I stopped coming.

It was as simple as I wasn't the same person I used to be, and he was. I wasn't ready to get my heart broken again, and truthfully, wasn't interested in him anymore. While I still have respect for Sasuke and the sacrifices he was willing to make, I'm not ready to go back to being friends. I'm not ready to pretend everything else never happened, I don't think I will ever be.

Naruto and Kakashi told me that Sasuke was interested in me, impressed at what I had become, I told them I didn't care. Call me bitter, call me a bitch, but it was true. I wasn't ready to go through all of this again, I didn't want a relationship with the Uchiha. Naruto, being the usual tactless twit he was seemed shocked that I wasn't jumping on this opportunity. Kakashi wasn't. He knew that I wouldn't do this; he knew that I was no longer the same, pink haired 12 year old. He understood that the world had, had its way with me. I was much more jaded, much stronger.

I was an adult now, at 19 I was grown up, I was a real shinobi who had seen horrors that only could be found in the battlefields. I had my own life; I had a life that no longer had a place for Uchiha Sasuke.

I exhaled loudly, stopping my reminiscing to slip my key into the lock of my apartment. Stepping in, I flipped on the switch and surveyed the small space, making sure nothing was out of its place. Naruto had a habit of letting himself in to get something or another and moving everything around. But, no, the simple, minimal decoration was where it should be and otherwise the basic, almost barren space was the same as I had left it. Being a high-ranking shinobi, I didn't spend very much time in here, and it showed. It looked like an empty house, where people had lived once but left suddenly, everything was tidy and uncluttered, but still a little dusty in the corners.

The digital clock on the wall over the living space told me dinnertime was approaching, padding into the kitchen all I could think about was the coming weekend.

Friday came much too slowly, Wednesday and Thursday trudging by. But, by the time the sun came up on Friday morning, I was already gone. I was ready to leave; I had been ready to leave since I talked to Tsunade, actually, before that. I didn't want to waste a second of my precious "vacation time", I didn't want to sit around and wait. I wanted to get out, I wanted to breathe real air, I wanted to get away from missions and fighting and… _Sasuke._

The miles flew by, the gate checks by patrolmen were easy to get past with a flash of my special issue pass. Trees, rivers, lakes, it was all real; it was all nature that hadn't been tampered with by shinobi battles. There was wildlife at the border that wouldn't dare live anywhere else. The border was a safe ground; it was open space that didn't belong to any one nation. This was where peace treaties were signed, important political meetings were held, and you simply didn't end up here unless you had special permission.

I slowed once I reached an open area big enough to make camp in. It was a modest clearing, a place where flowers grew, but it wasn't taken over by them. The trees that surrounded it, a protection of strong leaves and bark made me feel safe and closed in. This is what I loved about the border; it felt like a forest, like nature should. There weren't chakra demolished landscapes, scorched fields, bloodstained flowers.

I took a deep breath, smelling the fresh, unhampered air; the vaguely damp but clean air cleaned me out. I sat down on the ground, feeling the effects of too little sleep and a stressful week taking over me. I didn't even bother for the sleeping mat, closing my eyes and letting sleep overcome me.

I awoke with my senses tingling in a way they shouldn't in the border country; there was something with way too much chakra hanging round. It felt like the person was making a vague attempt at hiding his chakra, but didn't really care all that much.

Something moved behind me, and I spun around, my eyes narrowing, hand on a kunai. A large figure stepped into the clearing, his pale blue skin a sharp contrast to the black and red cloak he was wearing. His affiliation required no question, the red clouds only symbolizing one group.

"Akatsuki" I breathed, my body snapping into an automatic ready stance.

The blue man sighed, pulling a large sword from his back, "I'm guessing this means that I can't count on a peaceful surrender."

"That would be correct," I answered coldly, my voice not betraying my surprise. Our recent intelligence told us that Akatsuki was falling apart, their chain of command and group moral slipping. Their influence was slowly losing importance throughout the shinobi world. To come this close to Konoha at a time like this was certainly a risky move on their behalf.

But I didn't have time to linger on that, the shark like man lunging at me with the giant, bandaged sword. Jumping out of the way I flickered into a nearby tree, his voice rumbled gruffly under me, "I don't have time for this."

But I didn't stay there for long as he heaved the giant weapon into the trunk, giving me just enough time to jump out before it hit the ground with a bang. I followed it soon afterwards, landing gracefully on my feet.

Our hands both launched into a series of complicated hand signs at the same time, water began to flood the area as a giant, ground splitting gust of wind flew at him. The Akatsuki swung his sword, deflecting the brunt of my attack, even as he flew back at least twenty feet.

The water rushed in around my boots, and I jumped into the closest tree, only to have it fall out from under me. This was not looking good, and while the Akatsuki was quickly recovering from my attack, I wasn't fairing as well with his. 'Damn it!' I thought, wishing I had my scrolls, or more weapons on me, or both. The water rushed up to meet me, and I landed feet first, trying to channel my chakra and stand on it, but the rushing waves were too choppy. I was quickly pulled, struggling and kicking, under the crushing current the world fading into a cold, unforgiving black.

AN: R and R guys. 3


End file.
